dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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