perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
