I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
