is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
