just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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