Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
