If that was your dad, he is hot
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
