Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
