I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
