Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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