omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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