hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Randomize
