Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
