I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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