I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
