i think my tv is drunk
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
