he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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