dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
