so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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