I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
