Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
