Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Randomize