I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize