you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
