Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Randomize
