i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize