This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Randomize
