Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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