your parents love me but you hate me
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Randomize
