This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
