spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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