Will you blow on my dice?
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
