you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Is it because I queefed?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
