My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
