just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
He literally asked permission to hit on me
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize