On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
