Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
