i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize