Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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