Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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