ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
