Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
