can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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