i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
