East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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