in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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