Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
we're making bets on your personal life
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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