i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
You're like the curious george of whores
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
