we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
