Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Drunk is not a location!
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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