if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
