Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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