Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
So apparently I’m into choking now
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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