5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
