you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
