Umm I'm too high to move.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
