Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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